#like i didn't major in education but come on man. i could do a better job than that 😭

[zukkaoru]

forming one-sided beef with my sister's english teacher

[starryalpacasstuff]

Knock Knock Boys: A Queer Asian Lens

I didn't watch Knock Knock Boys as it was airing, because it didn't really seem like the kind of show I'd be into. However, this post by @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles' enthusiastic recommendation convinced me to give it a shot. Having binged the entirety of the series in a day, I can say that the show was an absolute delight to watch.

I've seen plenty of people talking about how wonderfully sex positive the show was, so I'm not going to bother with going too much into it, but I will say that the drama clearly showed the kind of sex education and awareness that is desperately needed around the world. I also really liked how Lukpeach and Latte were the ones responsible for pretty much all of the sex education in the show. It was very realistic in that, in my experience, it's extremely common for teenagers and young adults to get a majority of their knowledge about sex from their friends and the internet. The show had a very clear message about the importance of talking freely about sex with younger generations, because the taboo on the topic only harms teenagers in the long run.

Now, besides that, there was one more issue that I thought the show did wonderfully: it showed how asian kids are often hesitant to discuss things with their parents because they assume the worst in the beginning. I'm having some trouble articulating this, because it's such an abstract, ingrained concept to me, so forgive me if this is incoherent. I'm also generalizing my experience as an Indian, so please do correct me if I'm wrong here. That being said, having been raised in a society that values respect and listening to elders without question, discussing alternate ideas with parents can be a very difficult thing for most of us. It's easy to assume what parents would say to an idea and decide that trying to convince them otherwise is a task that is either futile or requires too much energy.

The best way I can describe is that the mindset becomes "It's better to ask for forgiveness if you get caught instead of asking for permission straight away". For example, had Almond asked his mother if he could stay with three other guys, she would've most definitely flat out refused, since she would've had a lot of preconceived notions about the idea. But, because Almond is able to show her that he's happy as he was, she was perfectly fine with him continuing to stay with the others. I think that's the hallmark of most asian parents, they want us to be happy but they're convinced that they know what kind of life will make us happy. They did something similar with Peak and his father, but my feelings on that are a little more complex, so we'll come back to this.

Peak and Thanwa, man. I loved Latte and Almond but these two just stole the show for me. I know some people felt frustrated with Peak's dallying and hesitance, but I just felt so sad for him, and something about his situation just hit very close to home. And Seng, the actor that he is. One particular moment that stuck with me was the scene when he leaned against the door while Jumper attacked Max. I must've rewatched that moment half a dozen times, because his acting was impeccable. I will say, I wish that they'd given us a better resolution on the arc after Max, but those are mostly minor quibbles. What I really wanted to talk about was the arc with Peak's father. Peak gathering the courage to tell his father with the support from his found family was beautiful. The scene at Knock Knock House the day before Peak left was one of the most magnificent, emotionally charged scenes I've seen in asian ql in a while. Coming from a societ wherein arranged marriage is the norm, the storyline hit hard in all the right places.

But. I did not love the resolution of the arc. I think we've had some conversation about how some shows try to be both in the bubble and out of the bubble simultaneously, and the last two episodes of the show felt a little like that. From what we knew about the father, it felt almost too easy for him to simply accept everything right away. There should have been some struggle for reconciliation. I know that the show has a theme of assumptions and lack of communication disrupting parent-child relationships, but in this case how fast they move on just seems unrealistic. My cynicism aside, even if we assume that the father wasn't homophobic, there should've been more of a conversation on the breaking of the engagement! The social implications, the father asking him why he didn't say anything for so long, Jane's involvement (how did the father know that she knew about this?). The only argument I can see against this is that the father, while initially put off by the revelation, chose to act otherwise to support his son. But then, he most likely wouldn't have insisted they take his car. And there still should've been some sort of a conversation about the engagement. Arranged marriages have a purpose; it's to provide financial and social security. I find it extremely hard to believe that a father who arranged a marriage for his son wouldn't have so much as discuss the implications of being gay with him. They tried to have the engagement have consequences with the wedding banquet, but the resolution for that really only made it worse. This is cynical of me, but I simply cannot suspend my disbelief enough to believe that the entire wedding party was perfectly happy with the turn of events. This whole resolution just seemed out of place in a show that was otherwise so wonderfully grounded in reality while still being absolutely hilarious. I think, if the show had done something a little more similar to GAP, it would've felt more realistic.

All of that aside, I really did enjoy watching the show. It was hilarious and heartwarming, and the characters were absolutely wonderful. The resolution of the final arc did drag it down a little, but I would be lying if I said that watching two queer couples get to celebrate their relationships with their community didn't warm my heart at all (Also, side note- Jane having a girlfriend was a brilliant subversion). All in all, it's a great series. It definitely felt like something new and fresh compared to the kind of qls that I've been watching lately.

[elijahs-dumps]

HUSKERDUST IS AMAZING!!! ... sort of

Okay, so, Hazbin Hotel. Obviously HUGE SPOILER WARNING ahead, but this show was fantastic! I've been a fan of Vivziepop's work for a while now, and even though I don't really enjoy Helluva Boss, I was really looking forward to Hazbin for many years. However, just because you really enjoyed something doesn't mean you can't acknowledge its flaws. And in a show with as many pacing issues as Hazbin, where do you even begin? Well, my personal main issue with the show was Huskerdust. Not because the ship isn't likeable, it's simply because most of what I didn't like about the show can link back to these two characters and their dynamic. So I guess I'm using them as my Trojan's horse in a way!

Huskerdust, which is the ship name between Husk and Angel Dust, is one of the main romances within Hazbin Hotel. Vivzie told us it would be a slow burn pretty early on, but honestly I think this ship is one of the fastest slow burns known to man. I mean, they had a cutesy little duet where they danced together in the fourth episode! This is tied to an underlying issue with the show's pacing all together. If Hazbin had more episodes like it should've, I think this "slow burn" concept would've worked better. Considering the fact we only had episodes, and the two characters still haven't really "confessed" or kissed yet, I suppose you could call it whatever you want to really.

The two characters and their dynamic is set up very early on, even in the pilot. It'll usually go something like, Angel will target Husk because he's the only one Angel can get a reaction out of in the hotel. Angel will do anything from making an innuendo, to literally sexually harassing Husk. And naturally, Husk will get frustrated because Angel is pushing his boundaries. Do I think it's weird that a show which talks about SA still uses sexual harassment as the butt of its jokes? Yeah, I think it's super weird and a little insensitive. But it's not my place to comment on such matters because I'm not properly educated, so I'm just gonna brush over it for now. It just makes this ship a little tough to swallow for me, considering Angel's blatant disregard for Husk's feelings.

However, even though Husk is the only one Angel can toy with at the hotel, Husk is also the only one who "sees through" Angel and the fake persona he uses as a means to cope and protect himself. This creates conflict, because Husk will call Angel out when Angel pushes his buttons, and Angel will get defensive and lash out. We see this in episode four; Masquerade. After a bad "shoot" with Valentino, Angel comes back to the hotel and gets into an argument with Husk which causes him to storm out. Charlie and Vaggie send Husk after him, and Husk finds Angel at a dive bar of some kind (I think).

Before we continue with Huskerdust, I've got something major I need to get off my chest about this episode. If Charlie is so "madly powerful' like Lucifer, and she knows Angel is being mistreated by Val, why can't she free Angel from his contract? Or at least try to talk to Angel about his situation after this episode? Maybe she did, and we just didn't see it because of the five-month-long time skip (which is another problem with this show's pacing), or maybe soul contracts work outside of angelic power. But I feel like it would've been nice if they told us that Charlie tried to help Angel more, just for my own peace of mind. Because to me, I just felt like Husk and Charlie brushed off the reality of Angel's situation very easily, regardless of that the fact that they're in Hell or not. I get that shitty things probably happen in Hell all the time, but c'mon!

Speaking of Charlie, this show does an awful lot of telling when it comes to Charlie's issues and not a lot of showing, Her "daddy issues" are one example of this, but right now I'm talking about how the characters often mention that Charlie solves everyone's problems to avoid her own. I thought this could be a interesting character flaw in hindsight, because wanting to solve everyone's problems for them can lead to a lot of boundaries being pushed, and character conflict arising. I was a bit surprised when Charlie immediately left the studio after Angel yelled at her, and seemed to handle is extremely maturely. She even goes as far as to blame what happened on herself when it was clearly Valentino's fault. While I think it's cool that Charlie handled everything so well, I also would've liked to see her struggle with this a little more. I think the concept of Charlie not knowing when to back off could be a good opportunity for some actual growth from her, instead of her development or growth just being explained to us every episode. Unfortunately though, Hazbin clearly didn't have the time for this kind of character work because the show is so plot heavy.

Back to the ship, once Husk finds Angel the two sing a song called Loser, Baby. Which is basically Husk trying to cheer Angel up and get him to stop self-loathing so much. I'll get a little personal for a minute and say if I was Angel this would not have worked on me at all. While I do think Angel has some self-hatred problems, his issues clearly run so much deeper than that. However, this was obviously just the first step in Angel's long road to healing I suppose, considering he only opened up to Husk so much. That being said, it's not like we even get to see Angel heal or develop further because of the time skip. Something else that rubbed me the wrong way with this whole scene was how Husk tried to relate to Angel by speaking about his own experience with Alastor. We find out that Husk used to be an Overlord, and that he lost his soul to Alastor in some kind of bet or card game. Alastor is one of our main characters, and they really put him up side by side with Valentino, out of the blue like that, like... Let's all think logically for a minute. This, combined with that one scene from episode five, made me like Alastor a little less. I understand that Alastor is sick and twisted, he's completely and undeniably evil. But seeing how his actions directly affect another member of our main cast was really off putting, and it put such a huge damper on this "found family" energy that Hazbin Hotel was clearly was aiming for.

Oh, and remember when I mentioned Valentino? Yeah, he's not safe either. I didn't even think twice about this character until one of my friends told me Val was their favorite character. It made me look back on all his scenes, and I realized something. He's actually really funny, and pretty entertaining to watch. Even the way he talks about Angel Dust when Angel Dust isn't present is played for the laughs. If anything, the way Val acted in episode four was a complete 180 from episode two. I thought this was a questionable writing choice, I'll be honest. Why would you purposefully write this character to be almost likeable to a certain extent, only to have him commit inexcusable crimes in the next episode. Look, if you're a Valentino fan, good for you. I'm not going to tell anyone not to like a certain character, because that's just not fair. I just personally disagree with the way Val was written. I think trying to paint Val as if he's just like every other character on this show whenever he's not actively abusing Angel really diminishes Angel's suffering from a viewer perspective.

I also feel like episode four kind of dug it's own grave in a sense, regardless of anything I've said so far. Because this episode is entirely about Angel Dust, he obviously gains development and growth from it. And in a show like Hazbin, with poor pacing and not enough time to flesh out characters, Angel's current development now sets him apart from anybody else in the entire series. Now even Charlie, the main character, seems one dimensional when compared to Angel Dust.

Circling back to Huskerdust again, I should probably acknowledge that Husk and Angel never even got another real one-on-one interaction after this episode for the rest of the show! Except for a really small one in episode six. But they literally exchange like three sentences, and about four or five months have passed between episode four and six, so do with that what you will. Not to mention, Husk refers to Angel as “kid” in one of these sentences. While I do think the age gap between Angel and Husk is strange, I feel like it’s easily defendable. I’m sure once Husk and Angel actually become a couple, Husk will stop calling Angel a kid. And we all know Angel isn’t a legal minor by any means. I don’t think it was necessary for the story though, and the two easily could’ve been made closer in age so this ship wouldn’t seem as… peculiar. Let's also remind ourselves that Huskerdust somehow has more substance than the main pre-existing couple. Yet again, this is just a side effect of "too much to do, not enough time to do it". But we will save the Chaggie discussion for another day...

So, do any of these things make Huskerdust bad? No, not in my opinion, at least. I'm still rooting for this ship no matter what, and I will personally be storming Prime Video HQ if they don't become canon next season. I think all ships and shows have their own problems, and for whatever reason the problems within Hazbin Hotel stood out to me more than I was expecting. Still, I did enjoy this show a lot. I might even do another post about it soon. And I'll definitely be counting down the days until season two drops!

[aphrodite1288]

Let's get real, kai is SM golden child. Among Exo, SM gave everything extra to him. Solo albums, brand deals, magazines, solo concert, variety shows and all, he always gets better opportunities and supports despite other members are more popular and talented than him. SM neglecting exo members but not kai. They just announced his solo VR concert next Jan. It's so obvious! Your boy must know how to suck sm bosses and sponsors d*ck .

The Jenkai was a media play, but not because jennie chose him. Hell no! Jennie is naturally beautiful, smart, educated, and comes from a super rich family. No way she wanted to "date" him. That's why she forced YG to end "their dating" early. She was so embarrassed.

If kai really care for kyungsoo, why would he agree to jenkai. He's just selfish, childish, needy, and arrogant. He doesn't deserve kyungsoo. I'm happy kyungsoo left sm and him. Kyungsoo deserved someone who is mature, stable, responsible n truly care for him, maybe like jo in sung or woobin. Look at how woobin protected kyungsoo from sasaeng camera. Kai will never do that.

First off I'm not reading all this,

So I'll reply to the first lines only, because I don't have the time to argue with illiterates,

Stop coming here if you're not brave enough to send me your IG for me to show you.

Secondly, Okay Blame SM why blaming the members?? They're just employees they do as what's in their schedules, they can't say no.

When Jongin was extra active was when all members were enlisted, he was the one who paid for most of his promotions, he was the one who contacted those shows personally to attend them to promote his albums, SM didn't want to even reprint his albums, and he had to even pay for printing his albums and pay many of his promotion from his own money, back to him being active during Exo's enlistment Hiatus, he was carrying the Exo name , it's a task remaining idol in a group does when everyone enlists to keep the band name trending in Monthly value for them to not be forgotten, and y'all should thank Ji for doing the job. he was overworked, because he indeed brings revenue and profit to SM, and he expressed how tired and anxious he was from the overwhelming schedules, he lost so much weight have you seen him, the man be ame a stick.

KAISOO and Baekhyun are the only members who were busy all year, not the other members. I think you should check their schedule. Even your Ksoo Oppa wasn't free look how many shows he attended he got a pretty decent promotion for his latest album. And before that he was busy filming three big projects. Ksoo was so busy. And you don't like the sound of that.

It's hard a to swallow pill, but your Ksoo Oppar was one of the Privileged ones in SM, you can tell that because he was constantly busy he was overworked as well and this is the second main reason back in 2019 he wanted to leave. Ksoo is the only member who was constantly busy, missing from Exo's schedules sometimes because he was busy filming his movies and drama's. The man had 3 majors movie and drama works in less than a year a half!? Who stopped him ? None! He was always saying in bubble that he was busy when members were filming shows they called him and Ji always asked him to send supportive message to "Jongdae" and "Xiumin" and many times members called him in their shows or lives and asked him if he has time to tall to them on the call or if he's busy filming.

How possibly busy could you want Ksoo to be?? He was so busy he barely slept?? You want to overwork him more than he was overworked? Is this how you support your idol? You should protect him? Do you even care for his mental and physical health? In terms of promotions blame that on SM they're doing shitty job promoting all their idols, except NCT&Aespa and they're being overworked as well. It's not their fault SM is the one giving them schedule. Why be mad at them? Let alone be mad at Exo whom r in the same shit as your Oppa .

Your Kyungsoo Oppa is the reason Jenkai lasted 24 days only Media play. That's the First main reason he beefed with SM, for minding his personal life. Second main reason was being overworked.

Stay pressed Patricia 🌚

[majorbaby]

Can you elaborate on your personal gripes for how mulcahy is used in the narrative? I have seen people talking about not liking him but I think it was more disliking him as a guy, so I would like to hear your thoughts

okay well, first i'd just like to say that nobody is a bad person for liking mulcahy and i have less of an issue with HIM as a guy (his thoughts, feelings, wishes, his favourite colour, his favourite food, his relationships with others) as i have with how he is positioned by the narrative. you seem to get this, but i still want to make it clear. if anything i'm all for mulcahy getting it on with whoever because it would undermine his vocation as a celibate priest.

long explanation under the cut but TL;DR: mulcahy is positioned as being a morally upright person. this is dangerous because apart from his being a character on the show, he is also representative of the catholic church. moreover, positioning the church this way severely undermines the show's central, anti-establishment, anti-war messaging.

there's lots to love about MASH, but the way it deals with religion and the church is a major weakness. the show wants me to accept that patriarchy, militarism, imperialism, social conservatism are bad, but draws the line at critiquing religion, by positioning its chief representative in positive light. it's a big oversight.

let me try this a new way compared to how i've done it in the past and start with the military:

fuck the military, right? we agree that it is bad? and we agree that MASH came out swinging against the army and that that is part of the central messaging of the show? and we agree that one of the best things about MASH is that it took such a hard line against the military? cool.

why do we hate the military? it's violent, it's paternalistic, it eats up public money that could otherwise be spent on making peoples lives better, it influences public policy in a negative way, it's hostile to equity-seeking people (racialized people, lgbtq+ people, women, people with mental and physical disabilities), it is also hostile to even the most privileged in our society. MASH specifically took aim at the draft, which still functionally exists in US law.

basically, it is overwhelmingly oppressive and does far more harm than good, if you can even make a case for what good it does.

the catholic church is bad for all the same reasons. most catholics are born into the church, assigned catholic at baptism, which occurs when you are a baby and which cannot consent to. its ranks are overwhelmingly male and priests are literally called "Fathers".

your mileage may vary when it comes to the separation of church and state but...

where i live, the catholic school system is funded by tax dollars - technically any child can attend a catholic school even if they aren't catholic, but say, idk, want some free indoctrination. but you must be catholic to teach in catholic schools, so half of all these 'public service jobs' which are unionized, pay well and difficult to secure are only available to catholics. you can go to catholic school yet grow up and be unable to teach in one, like, currently, in 2023, in Canada which has some fucking nerve to be still upholding this archaic system. people aren't born pro-life or homophobic or believing that sex should be between a man and a woman and purely for procreation, or that masturbation is a sin... these are all things we see in policy, in education, in medicine, in media, as a result of the influence of christianity. what flavour of christanity varies based on where you live but in many instances, it's catholicism. you could extend some of these critiques to organized religion in general but i'm not doing that right now because mulcahy is catholic specifically.

like... purity culture didn't just pop out of nowhere. you may not be christian but sex shaming and the elevated ideal of marriage and the gender binary and the idea that we need to be 'civilized' in a certain way are all christian values that were spread violently across the globe, often hand-in-hand with military exploits. not only are the military and the church similar, they're often indistinguishable and they very much need one another.

MASH was trying very hard to say, originally at least, that there are no good military brass. even henry gets the piss taken out of him whenever he tries to be a 'colonel' to hawkeye and trapper. so why henry, and not mulcahy? (also why not potter but like, that was a different era and potter is a character i actually do proper hate)

if there can be no good army officers, then there can be no good priests. and mulcahy was both.

[marengogo]

The Thing Is: - 1 : BALANCE.

Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat. STILL. YUP, STILL ON THE REPEAT TRAIN 😬.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

So this is what I’d like to call an educated rant about Capulates (aka most Taekookers) and Montagues (aka some Jikookers). In fact, this is mostly a rant about the things that both “families” cause on that godforsaken bird app, which apparently we can’t live with but also can’t live without I’ll explain this more in depth in my Ted-Talk. This is a rant about BALANCE and ultimately its lack thereof. That being said, to make it all make sense, let’s begin with some context and, like I always do, let me make it relevant and personal.

When it comes to Jikookers in general, I firmly believe that what I am about to talk about is known by a few, should be known by many but unfortunately is ignored/irrelevant to the vast majority and now that, THAT, is a fucking pity. One of my favourite quotes is “Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can, Seldom found in woman, Never found in man”. Admittedly, we could stay here and argue about every single word from the Seldom to the man part of this quote, but what I’d like you to please focus on is the ”Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can…” part. 

I used to be a very silent, and calm, person and with those traits also came an infinite amount of patience; there was a time I used to boast about my patience. Alas, what I didn't know was that Life had made up a whole shitty plan for me. Right from when I was 11 it decided that “you know what? You seem like you could handle a huge amount of different types of shit all at once, and I just so happen to have loads of shit but no place where to put it so… here! You can have some of it!” And so it was that shit was systematically piled on me constantly, and I dealt with it patiently, respectfully and with dignity until I turned 24 when something major happened to me that made me snap and I turned into the quick-to-anger adult that some may know me to be nowadays (for context, I’m in my 30s right now).

The funny, but not-so-funny, thing is that when I snap I do it around those who are closest to me. Snapping has become the way I let out my true self as an unhealthy result of keeping everything bottled in for so long, which was indeed bad handling on my side, but I really didn’t know any better. It must be said though,  that when I snap, I don’t snap at my close friends (... family tho, is a different story …) what I do is let out my frustration with them, which usually goes like this: 

UNOPENED TEXT from Close Friends (CFs) (but thank god for text previews!): Gurl, how was the weekend?

ME: I see there is a text from my close friend/s, but I’m so busy and stressed that I don’t even want to open it knowing that I wouldn’t be able to either hold a proper convo or say anything positive. BUT in the back of my head I know there is a message from the important people in my life waiting: and I add unreasonable “stress”.

UNOPENED TEXT from CFs: send funny images or vocal messages.

ME: I’m still not willing to just open the message to just leave it without a reply, so I keep ignoring. But still I know the message is there, hence “stress” keeps adding.  

finally OPENED TEXT from CFs: Call me when you can or shall we meet this weekend?

So then eventually I make an effort, get out of my head ass, and make time call and …

ME: Gurl, how have you been? … yeah man I’m like super exhausted and [PROCEEDS TO ENGAGE IN THIS UNPROVOKED LONG ASS RANT ABOUT HER WEEK. LIKE REALLY LONG. LIKE A GOOD 30mins AT LEAST, which could have been avoided if I had made time through the week when they actually texted 🙃] … but enough about me, tell me all about what happened to you?

Its hella hypocritic and weird but my CFs know exactly how I am, and how to handle me, and in the same way I also know how to handle their unique traits, so keeping this in mind, I try not to feel too bad about my lack of constant communication and my sudden vomiting of emotions thereafter, it's between me and them, them and me, and if you are not within our circle, you would never now and it is very frankly nobody else's business.

That being said, all things considered, I still somehow tend to be quite patient when it comes to things that are not directly related to me and I’ve also found out that I have an “interesting” amount of self-control. Just like Patience, I do think that Self-Control is a virtue. Both virtues would allow us to reach Balance which I believe is ultimately what we should be aiming for in life and how actually life works. 

Now, where am I going with this? And how does it relate to Capulets & Montagues (C&M)? Does it even relate to Jikook? Gurl, what?!

… Bear with me just a little longer.

Balance. My life has been devoted to finding balance in everything, reason why I love grey so much for example (though my fav color is actually BLUE 💙). When balanced you can confidently move forward, hypothetically causing no immediate harm  and also for example not snap 😬. But what is balance? Following is the dictionary definition pertaining to this subject:

a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

Okay. So, the way I see it, there are 2 obvious ways you can obtain balance:

Two opposite but equal forces being applied on an object which will either cause it to stay still in a balanced stop or even move in a balanced way

The application of no force. If an object is not moving it is indeed balanced as its present situation is not altering.

And here is where we finally talk about C&M and Twitter.

Capulets & Montagues respectively believe that their ship is THE ONE and they will resort to any emphasis on the ANY means necessary to battle each other and prove that they are right, be it breach of privacy of the individuals they swear they love and respect, or complete lack of common sense, YOU NAME IT!, if it assures them a winning tweet for the day; they will use it.

Have you noticed how, even though I call them Capulets and Montagues, I do not refer to JK & JM as Romeo & Juliet? They are in a difficult environment, for sure, but I do not believe that their story must end in tragedy. Basically I do not believe them to be star-crossed lovers. HOWEVER most Taekookers and some Jikookers do believe that. C&M are living within the  wrong story, so to say, as in, this is really  NOT Romeo & Juliet but they unprovoked decided that this IS Romeo & Juliet: Do I make sense? But how to blame them? Most Taekookers and some Jikookers are exactly like Capulets and Montagues and like all similarly belligerent parties before them: Blind with nonsensical rage and motivated by misplaced righteousness. 

On a weekly basis Capulates will “find” something damning about Taekook and taunt Montagues about it. Montagues will try if possible to debunk it, hence starting a fight. The following day, Montagues will “discover” their version of something damning about Jikook and taunt Capulets. Capulets will try their very best to debunk it while starting a fight. Oh and solo THV, PJM and JJK will also add to the mix just to add some flare to the already flabbergastingly stupid occurance. All the while, they all will be intently ignoring and completely not caring about this very damning fact: Taehyung loves Jungkook & Jimin, Jungkook loves Taehung & Jimin and Jimin loves Taehyung & Jungkook in ways THEY ONLY KNOW and it is very frankly none of our business.

At this point this might make you recall a couple of things I wrote a couple of paragraphs earlier … such as, yes, BALANCE; a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Capulets & Montagues. One attacks, the other counterattacks and viceversa over and over again, like a very malicious and impeccably accurate Newton’s cradle.The only way to stop ANY Newton’s cradle, would be an external force causing it to stop. A full stop. 

In the C&M case, this full stop would have to come from VMinKook and they would have  to come out and state: “This is how things are…”. However, not only it is absolutely not their requirement to do so, but given that this hasn’t happened yet, we can respectfully deduce that either they can’t currently expose their own current truth (which is a unfortunately a narrative favourable to both C&M alike… ) or that they don’t really care about C&M fights, which I wouldn’t blame them for either.

Now, if you follow me, you know where I stand, right? You know that I do think that there might be something going on between JK and JM, right? So my belief is that this Newton’s Cradle is also being perhaps unwillingly kept in motion by the fact that currently JK & JM as well as Tae are righteously keeping very much to themselves, like I’ve explained in the Loud Art of Silence . There’s been a bit of a change in the VMinKook dynamics since 2019 hasn’t it? Taekook had a heart-to-heart during In The Soop in 2020 after which they successfully started mending the awkward tension in their relationship.

As for Jikook, other than Big Hit/HYBE, group, subgroup and birthday lives, they haven’t been sharing much with us have they? Yet every time we get a glimpse at them, say during concerts or awards ceremonies, they act and interact as we’ve known them to, so one could conclude that it took them a good 6 years but they’ve seemingly finally transitioned into being more private about their relationship. Good for them, truly, applaud them for that but Montagues … Montagues are really not about that life: If Jikook keeps shit to themselves, how are they going to win their weekly Twitter Battles? And mind you this has nothing to do with those Jikookers who rectifyi facts that Capulets constantly go around distorting, which also happens on a daily basis on this blasted bird app.

You know what happened in my brain when I realised that the Boys were gonna go and serve in the military? Aside from the ugly AF crying I realised and accepted that we would most likely get nothing new from Jikook until 2025 when they would all be back together and would supposedly no longer owe anything to any greater entity. This was when I also realised that I would have to be really patient and apply a lot of self-control. I realised that I would miss Jikook interacting, I would miss that a lot, but there would be nothing I could do about it. 

Until 2025 the C&M Twitter Balance will keep balancing and that is just a fact. “Well then bitch stay away from Twitter!” I would, trust me, I wish I could, but the reality is that the bird app is unfortunately the place where you get ANY news in the timeliest of manners and from there it is a battle to figure out veracity of said information. At the end of the day information is power and what you decide to do, as well as not to do, with it also defines character.

Until 2025 patience, self-control and balance, in all their forms are going to be key. As well as constantly reminding oneself that regardless of our beliefs, feelings and speculations Jikook are not a confirmed couple and they owe us nothing. However, y’all best believe that nothing lasts forever, and these are grown ass men, so when they’ll be out of the military their chapter 3 will start and most likely big changes in their lives will also follow and then, right about then, we will get that heavy-ass-hammer-fall-full-stop to the C&M Twitter Balance which might still continue with the deeply cray-cray part of the fandom, right then, truths will be revealed and we will have to accept them. So until then let’s keep reminiscing gratefully and accepting whatever we are given graciously.

… Until then, always respectfully yours 💜💛🫰🏾

Marengo

[robotonthemoon]

Beginning of Learning

I've been meaning to write this for a while. As I have previously mentioned here, I am told that market socialism would be a pretty good fit for me. Learning has been a journey that has taken me from some pretty deeply modern republican and libertarian views. I just wanted to share a bit of that journey. I'll put a break here because this will be long.

I am going to be completely honest here: the rise of Trump and his cult of personality has been a major force in driving me away from the party. I cannot stand the man and have never voted for him, even when he was unopposed in the 2020 primary. I just can't fathom how people can hitch their wagon to a guy who has been bankrupt that many times and couldn't sell alcohol, red meat, and gambling to Americans; as though he were some kind of business genius.

But this isn't about him. My journey started before his rise. And it didn't come from leftists telling me "hey, you should believe XYZ" even if I have since learned a lot from left leaning folks. No, my education really started from examining historical figures from the republican party.

"Labor is prior to and independent of capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."

Sounds like something a modern union organiser would say, doesn't it? And yet that was President Abraham Lincoln in his First Annual Address (December 3rd, 1861). Now Abe does go on to state that capital is deserving of its own protections, but he started with and emphasised the greater value and importance of labour.

"It is better for the Government to help a poor man to make a living for his family than to help a rich man make more profit for his company."

And this is from President Theodore Roosevelt (brace for it because I will be mentioning him again). These sentiments really helped push me away from notions of corporate superiority. I fully endorse labour rights and unions now, and can certainly understand where the argument for workers owning the means of production would come from.

Not much of a segue here, but I wanted to mention that if it weren't for health problems (and to a degree concerns about being outed as queer back in the late 90s and early 2000s) I would have considered military service. Probably the Coast Guard. I have a lot of respect for the good work the coasties do, especially the rescue services. Repelling out of a helicopter in the middle of a storm to pull someone out of the ocean is just... heroic.

That said, while I think we need to take better care of our service people, my attitude toward the role of capitalism in respects to the military were very much changed when I read President Dwight Eisenhower's Chance for Peace speech (April 16th, 1953).

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter with a half-million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. . . . This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."

This famous section in particular really struck me. He warns us about the military industrial complex. How our priority cannot be military might at the cost of the citizenry. Then I considered this in light of the Bush/Cheney administration findings (at the time, the current value may be different) that the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP, aka foodstamps) created something like $1.63 in economic stimulus for every dollar spent. A 63% gain on investment is excellent, in addition to helping people! Frankly, I feel like that means we'd do well to just eliminate means testing and give benefits to anyone who asks for it. Reduces bureaucratic overhead and waste while providing more economic benefits. Win win. And on the argument of taxes being put to this purpose:

"Taxes are what we pay for civilized society" Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (supreme court justice, republican)

My father is a bit of a hippie. He raised me with a lot of talk about saving the environment. Some of that sank in, but I must admit to having periods in my life where I thought along the lines of "screw it, just pave everything". Not anymore. I am strongly in support of environmental protections and restrictions on industry to protect nature. Here's where Teddy Roosevelt comes back in.

“We have become great because of the lavish use of our resources. But the time has come to inquire seriously what will happen when our forests are gone, when the coal, the iron, the oil, and the gas are exhausted, when the soils have still further impoverished and washed into the streams, polluting the rivers, denuding the fields and obstructing navigation.”

Now, Teddy was saying this is the very early 1900s, more than a century ago. I wish we had listened more aptly.

“Defenders of the short-sighted men who in their greed and selfishness will, if permitted, rob our country of half its charm by their reckless extermination of all useful and beautiful wild things sometimes seek to champion them by saying the ‘the game belongs to the people.’ So it does; and not merely to the people now alive, but to the unborn people. The ‘greatest good for the greatest number’ applies to the number within the womb of time, compared to which those now alive form but an insignificant fraction. Our duty to the whole, including the unborn generations, bids us restrain an unprincipled present-day minority from wasting the heritage of these unborn generations. The movement for the conservation of wild life and the larger movement for the conservation of all our natural resources are essentially democratic in spirit, purpose, and method.”

How could I not be moved by this? There are many other quotes by Roosevelt that I could share on the subject of conservation, and I encourage people to look into them, but I will refrain from posting them here because I've already gone on at length.

"This country will not permanently be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a reasonably good place for all of us to live in."

One more good Teddy Roosevelt quote to end this with. I hope I have succeeded at least a bit in explaining what started me on the road I'm on now. I'm still learning, and I'm sure I have a ways to go still. I will state, because this is the internet and I know the arguments that could come from this, that I am not claiming these men were perfect. In fact I am quite certain they did plenty of terrible things. I acknowledge that. But that doesn't mean I can't also respect the good they did.

I still consider myself something of a conservative, but my understanding of what that means has changed greatly. Perhaps I am completely mistaken, and I am far more a leftist than I recognise. I believe in slow but steady economic growth and long term outlooks. In building a solid economic base by prioritising workers. In caring for people, rather than judging and discarding those who cannot work. In protecting the environment (the EPA was even started by Nixon) rather than ruining it for next quarter's financial gain.

Not the modern neoliberalism, anti-regulation, profit first thinking that pervades the current right wing. I wonder if Ike is spinning in his grave to see the sort of fascy candidates the party puts forth nowadays, given he commanded forces against their ilk in WW2.

If you have read this far, I thank you for your patience. I know this may draw some people's ire. If you are on the right and feel the need to shout at me, I ask that you learn and consider more of our past. And if you are on the left, I ask you to remember that an imperfect ally is not the same as an enemy.

Have a wonderful day, genuinely. Thank you for your time.

[brooklynislandgirl]

Only if you want! 💚 :' ) And if so, whichever verse speaks to you!

Imagine You and Me || -

Beth cannot remember a time where Ben wasn't in her life. As she grew older she realised how unusual that was, because everything about them should have made them enemies; Ben is dyed in the wool Protestant, the Rileys have been Catholic from almost from the time of Raghllaigh, Prince of Breffney in the Year of the Lord 981. The Rileys enjoy a privileged life of wealth, position, and titles where as the Tallmadges were more modest. But their fathers were fast friends, enjoying debate and arts and philosophy, so it was natural that their children would also be friends. Ben and Andy certainly were meeting when Beth was still in swaddling. For years the small group of children, Beth chased them through hill and dale, merely content to be included by the older ones though Ben reserved a special place in her world, as beloved as her brother Andrew was and remained. Ben was the only person who could ever call her Lizzie. And when the family moved from Setauket to Boston, then Boston to Philadelphia, leaving land and property thriving, Beth became inconsolable. A furious wave of letters written and sent eventually dwindled, and Beth carried on with her life and education, though she never forgot Ben. She always believed they would find each other again, she simply hadn't expected it to be a war with England that would do it. The second the murmurs made their circles, of course Andy threw his hat into the Continental ring. If Beth had had the luxury of being a second son, she would have followed soon after. From his letters home, Andy was pleased to report meeting back up with Ben and Brewster, Samuel and a fair few others. Having the responsibility of the household, Beth began to send funds and supplies as she could while maintaining the facade of neutrality important to Society.   When Andrew goes missing in battle, Ben took it upon himself to personally inform the family, to offer his condolences in person because he knows better than most that Andy is likely no longer in the world. Beth is devastated by the news, but equally shocked to realise three things; that Ben has grown into a fine man of some standing, that her feelings for him have only changed from their tender kinship to a fire burning in her chest, and that she won't let this chance slip away from her. Elizabeth Riley loves Ben Tallmadge, and she is serving two causes; freedom for her nation, and capturing the Major's affections. Her Straw Haired Soldier, her Good Reverend Oat. {{I am not gonna lie... I didn't see this one coming, but from the first sets of posts I absolutely fell in love with this ship, and am constantly amazed and delighted by how it's unfolding, and the plans we are making for them. I love how you write Ben, and I think he's absolutely darling under your care! 20/10, I will give them up when I am dead}}

Earl Grollman tells us: "Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve." They don't meet conventionally, as one doesn't take a grief counselling meeting to be a place where one typically picks up a date, but they do find each other, and reach out. They make each other laugh and have such amazing chemistry from the get go. It's funny and it's awkward, and they are both holding back so much of their real lives and real selves. Maybe they want the other to see them as the people they wished they'd grown into. Maybe the baggage of everything they've experienced is too heavy and this is a fresh start. Regardless, it strikes me as both poignant and heart warming. There will be upset in the future of the story when the little lies told unravel and they become exposed to one another's truths, but I look forward to that, too. One of the things I find fascinating in this modern twist is that Ben has lost his younger brother, whom he was so very protective over, and "Ellie" has lost her older brother, who was so protective over here. The pieces left behind in the wake of their tragic too-young passings meet up in the ones who survive them, and they have perspectives and parts of themselves to offer that match up almost seamlessly. I love Ben's dark sort of humour, and I love how they have a lot in common despite leading very different lives. They will grow, they will change, they will leave a mark on each other and hopefully come out the better for having each other in their lives, and I don't really make a prediction of the future here, except I think it will be one of those lasting bonds. I love that they seem to have it it off like a match tossed into a pile of kerosene soaked rags. I love how Ben is and can be soft, can be open, can be a lot of things that go against stereotype, without missing a beat and without coming across as out of place, despite being sort of 'old fashioned'. Once again, you've hit one out of the park on this.

{{20/10, your honour, I love them. These are some of the sweetest, dearest ships in my heart}}

[spiderfreedom]

Very long post ahead sorry

The issue is EXECUTION, not intent. It's good to have non-conventional female protagonists, as long as they still feel of their time and don't talk like a Twitter bio.

This. We want to be able to see non-conventional women, but we want them to feel "of their time." I had to stop reading a certain popular historical novel because the protagonist felt far too modern in her approach towards sexism in the 1950s (Lessons in Chemistry). It was just too much and broke my immersion. It was too unrealistic. But then I read a different one from the same period that was more realistic while still dealing with women coming to terms with sexism (When Women Were Dragons). You have to respect the era somewhat if you don't want it to just be an aesthetic set dressing.

It's why, although most of your rich Victorian blorbos would be imperialist assholes, we don't tend to depict protagonists as racist. Most of your medieval darlings would HATE Jews, but we don't write about that, now, do we? Because it's not fun!

"Babel" is one of the best modern examples of actual Victorian blorbos having period-accurate sentiments about, you know, race and imperialism, and it's a difficult read! (Great book, but not pleasant!) I like to imagine that other marginalized people, like people of color, disabled people, etc. may like to see themselves in the past in a way that honors the reality of their lives without turning into trauma porn. The past is fascinating, aesthetically cool too, but not everything about it was cool, and anyone wanting to seriously learn about it is better served reading a non-fiction book than consuming any sort of fiction, anyway.

Also on the same topic, if we portrayed the way men actually thought of women, you could basically get rid of most historical romance. If we were being honest, most husbands had sex with their wives when they didn't want to, pawned the chores off on her even when she was working (cough, Clara Schumann), and generally were not supportive of their girls getting much education. We don't include these aspects in our historical romances because it kind of ruins the fun of historical romance!

If we can allow this Shockingly Enlightened historical man to exist, I don't see why we can't similarly entertain the fantasy of a historical feminist woman who is Shocking Enlightened.

I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions.

It does feel like every historical woman protagonist has the same weird personality which is like, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice but make it Feminist. They're all just so witty and making comments on everything and they just get it in a way other women don't. It might have had a use at some point when we were making steps into feminist historical fiction, but we've outgrown it by now.

We have examples of women (and girls!) who spoke out against the mores of their time. They were, unfortunately, not taken very seriously, and usually alone. (It took a long time for women with gripes about The System to realize they weren't alone and band together and get their own money to support their own organizations.) I want to see their stories told, the good, the bad, the ugly. I also want to see women who broke norms in unrealistic ways, but with realistic consequences (e.g. the entire setup of "Blue Eye Samurai" is a little contrived to create this story of a half white/half Japanese female ronin, but the way she acts is relatively realistic. She has sympathy for the grueling trials women are put through, but she can't risk her life or her mission standing up for every woman she sees. It also fits in with the generally cynical atmosphere of the show!).

They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.

I don't entirely agree. "Ordinary" women enforcing gender roles and being complicit in sexism were, in fact, letting women down by trying to get by in their own times. (Still are - every woman who makes fun of a woman for being fat, gender non-conforming, ugly, not having a man, not knowing how to do makeup, etc. is shoring up her own status by showing her willingness to play within the rules while pushing other women down.) They may not have thought about it in that way, but every time they looked down on some other woman as lesser for not participating in the system, they reinforced that very system and the means by which they attained any success in that system. Every well meaning mother who squeezed the confidence out of her daughter to transform her into marriage material passed her shackles on as well as advice. (We could talk about what it means that humans in general prefer to cope with systems rather even imagining trying to change them, but that's another topic. None of this is unique to women, and plenty of marginalized group members try to "get by" by adopting majority codes and ruthlessly policing anyone below them. They are still marginalized! But they also uphold the system marginalizing everyone because they believe they've found a way to get higher up.)

In books like "The Radical Women's Press of the 1850s," the suffragists spend a lot of time talking about men not wanting them to vote (duh), but they also spend a lot of time talking about women judging them, viewing spinsters and old maids as social pariahs, saying things like "I have all the rights I already need," making fun of women who did not fit into beauty standards... Convincing women that things should change was as much a battle as convincing men. So frankly, I do think the women opposing them were making things worse for future women whether or not they realized it.

You can still write such a character in a relatable way, such that the audience understands her motivations and even sympathizes with her. But I don't blame anyone for wanting to see a woman in a pre-20th century setting who isn't working in the narrow set of roles available to us (maiden, married housewife, prostitute). I've seen enough of these and I'm bored (except for realistic depictions of sex workers; sex workers are almost always background characters, romanticized, and/or end up dying).

I'd like non-conventional women who make some sense within their time period! I'd like "conventional" women whose lives are deeply explored, who reflect the common views of their time! I'd like more well thought-out women characters in general.

I have way more to say because the portrayal of 'feminist' women in historical fiction is interesting to me as a real challenge of balancing historical accuracy and Not Depressing Your Audience. Also we know plenty of conservatives who don't want to see non-conventional women in historical fiction because they find the very concept of a non-conventional woman threatening and they enjoy the idea of a fictional refuge where women were happy with their subordinate status and didn't complain, so that's also something to consider. (Same with the anger at including people of color in historical fiction - no, there probably would not have been black folks in a medieval English town, but if the individual piece is not about 100% True Historical Accuracy, can we not just move on? Why can't black people be allowed to see themselves depicted in fictional historical settings in something other than slavery or segregation?) So it's a tough equation to balance and I'm gonna stop or I'll write more words but basically, many good points being made

I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Andrew Ford was questioned and fetishized when he came out as bisexual. The gay community insisted he wasn’t being honest with himself; women at clubs started to excitedly fantasize about hooking up with two guys at the same time.

All the while, the soccer standout stayed true to himself. Ford came out his freshman year at Malone University, a small Christian liberal arts college in Canton, Ohio — home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. His friends and teammates were accepting, which was an incredible relief. But his journey into the LGBTQ community was a little more rocky.

“I got a lot of pressure from the gay community,” Ford told me recently on the phone. “I felt like I was misunderstood, and didn’t know who I was.”

Ford is one of an increasing number of openly bisexual college-aged athletes whom we’ve profiled recently on Outsports. Despite some surveys showing more Americans identify as bisexual than either gay or lesbian, there is a dearth of bi visibility in pop culture and sports.

As bi sportswriter Jeff Rueter challenged me: “name a bisexual man, and don’t say Frank Ocean.”

These kick-ass kids are going to change that.

Biphobia is real

Let’s start here: Biphobia is real. It manifests itself in gestures as seemingly fleeting as dismissive jokes, and actions as harrowing as outright physical violence. Bisexual people typically suffer significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety, domestic violence, sexual assault, and poverty than lesbians, gay men, or straight cisgender people, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

A black-and-white society, most of us grow up with the notion people are either straight or gay. Those attitudes have historically prevailed in the LGBTQ community, too.

Alex Keuroghlian, the Director of the National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center at the Fenway Institute, says bisexual people can be looked at skeptically.

“Within LGBTQIA+ communities, there has historically been a stigma toward bisexual people, and the false notion that they’re really gay and lesbian people who haven’t accepted that about themselves,” he said.

Megan Duthart, a rower at Washington State University who identifies as both bi and queer, has experienced the stigma first-hand. She says she thinks bisexual people are often excluded in the LGBTQ community.

“I’ve struggled a little bit with being identified as an ‘other’ in the community with the term ‘bisexuality,’” she said.

Why are bi people targeted for erasure?

More people are identifying as bisexual. Over three percent of U.S. adults say they’re bi, according to the 2018 General Social Survey. That’s three times the number as 2008.

And yet, bi people are still targeted for erasure. One of the ways it happens is through language. When people see same-sex couples, for example, they may be inclined to label them as “gay” or “lesbian,” without considering that one or both of the people could identity as bi.

While Americans’ attitudes about sexuality are evolving, many still adhere to more binary definitions of sexual orientation. A recent YouGov poll found 41 percent of American adults don’t think sexuality is a spectrum (conversely, 37 percent think it is).

As Ford puts it, bisexuality is stereotypically viewed as “the stepping stone stage.” That ties into one of the more insidious aspects of bi-erasure: the belief that it’s just a phase. It’s a line Ford recalls hearing many times, from both men and women.

“(Gay men) said, ‘I came out as bisexual first. It’s just a phase, you won’t be there long,’” Ford said. “I was also scared how women would think about it. They wanted to change me. Some of them wanted to use it as a thrill they were seeking.”

When professional hockey player Zach Sullivan came out as bi, his father told him it meant he was still making up his mind.

“I remember what my dad said when I told him,” Sullivan said. “‘Well, you aren’t all the way there. You haven’t really decided.’ I was like, ‘no, I know I’m attracted to both genders. I’m not halfway towards coming out as gay.’”

The bi burden

Every LGBTQ person can relate to the fear and anxiety of coming out. But for most of us, once we do it, it’s over.

That’s not the case for bi people.

“We have to keep coming out to our significant others, whether it’s a man or a woman,” Ford said. “If you’re gay and you start dating a gay, you’re not going to be like, ‘I have to tell you something: I’m gay.’ They’re going to be like, ‘no shit.’”

And once bi people do come out, they could get charged with being greedy — the sexual equivalent of having their cake and eating it, too. The insult angers Sullivan.

“The majority of people in the LGBT+ community have struggled with their sexuality, and when they finally become comfortable enough to come out in the open with their sexuality, I don’t think the first thing to say to someone who’s come out as bisexual is they’re greedy,” Sullivan said. “I took over 10 years to get to where I am.”

Duthart finds the concept of bisexuality can be difficult to explain. She largely identifies as queer.

“I’ve had coaches question whether I’m rebelling or going through a phase,” she said. “Then when I explain the whole queer aspect, they’re like, ‘Oh, OK. That seems more justified.’ I don’t want to have to justify those things, but I sort of have to.”

Changing attitudes

Jack Storrs came out as bisexual last year as a college football captain. His teammates at Pomona-Pitzer rallied around him, and wore Pride decals on their helmets.

But even some who were supportive suggested he was on his way to identifying as gay. Storrs said he couldn’t hide his feelings for men anymore, and came out because he wanted to explore.

Maybe he was gay, maybe he wasn’t. The questions didn't bother him. He was a relieved to have the dialogue.

“It was killing me on the inside,” Storrs said. “It got to the point where I was like, ‘screw it.’ This is who I am, and this was meant to be.”

Nowadays, Storrs says he’s more towards the “gay end of the spectrum,” and expects the fluidity to continue.

He’s cool with that, and numbers show his peers are, too. Generation Z is among the most progressive and diverse in U.S. history. A 2018 study from Ipsos Mori shows only 66 percent of young people today identify exclusively as heterosexual.

Young people have a better understanding of how sexuality can evolve, says Keuroghlian.

“There’s been less of a reflex to box people in, and categorize people in ways that could be static,” he said. “A key part of all of this is not projecting behavior or projecting attraction. People tell us — they self-identify that’s who they are. And we have to honor that.”

Visibility challenges misperceptions

But to get back to Rueter’s question: can you name a famous out bisexual person besides Frank Ocean?

It’s challenging, and the lack of bi visibility may be one of the biggest contributors towards bi-erasure. But that is changing. Each person who comes out as bisexual has the ability to change perceptions within their own communities — and many young athletes are.

Bri Tollie, a bisexual college basketball player at Southern Methodist University, wrote in her coming-out story she refuses to conform.

“It is important to be visible because everyone is unique,” she wrote. “Our uniqueness means no one should not have to give up a part of themselves to conform. It is called self-respect.”

Growing up, Storrs tried to shut off his attraction to guys. He told himself it wasn’t a big deal, but the angst became all-encompassing.

Storrs is done hiding any part of himself. He did that for far too long, and is now out for all to see.

“I am bisexual, and my point is, I don’t really give a shit what anybody else thinks,” Storrs said. “This is who I am, and I don’t have to figure it out, but the reason I’m coming out is to figure it out, or at least get to a point where I’m comfortable.”

With their stories, these young bi athletes are making it more comfortable for bi people every single day.

[kagesdumpsterfire]

Dean deserved to know how smart he was. I don't think any one really spelled it out for him before he died just how smart he was, and that breaks my heart because:

Dean Winchester was hella smart!

People always thought Sam was the smart one, which was true in a sense, but not in a way that made him any smarter than Dean. And I hated it whenever a storyline/character (Including Sam and Cas) implied that Dean was stupid. It wasn't even a book smarts vs street smarts thing between the brothers, because he had book smarts too. He sometimes lacked in common sense and his emotional intelligence left much to be desired, but other than that? Dean was intelligent as hell.

Books

Dean read a lot. Like a lot. He didn't always talk about it unless the plot called for it, but Dean read a lot of books. Complicated, thought provoking books. When it came to research, he was less than willing sometimes, but that doesn't mean he couldn't. No one wants to do something they enjoy doing if someone/something else is making them do it.

Dean read stuff like Vonnegut. He read Tolstoy ( War and Peace is 1,225 pgs btw and is not a simple read. I've read it. It's rough) He read the Odyssey (12,110 verses). Bukowski! None of these works are something that can be comprehended by the simple mind. (Vonnegut comes closest being a junior high reading level but considering he was never consistently in school... and just because jr high students can read it doesn't mean they should)

Ingenuity

Dean NEVER got enough credit for how ingenious truly was.

My man built an EMF meter out of an old walkman

He made a sawed off in jr high

He used an electromagnet to wipe out the Ghost Facers footage of them

He used rusty nails, paper clips, a car antenna and other random close by objects to get out of handcuffs.

He survived an entire year in monster hell not only surviving, but getting to the point where he was chasing them through their own domain. That takes serious survival skills.

His entire profession is built on quick thinking and clever planning to survive. He went on plenty of hunts by himself and came out the otherside still breathing.

He rebuilt a whole ass car, a couple of times, from literal scraps.

He was damn good at coming up with alternate weaopns on the fly.

He got a majority of his income from hustling pool and poker ( which takes a clever mind) and credit card fraud.

He magnaged to create several false identities and evaded the litteral FBI way longer than he should have been able to

Someone who is stupid couldn't mangae to do half of the stuff Dean could manage easily

His education

Dean has a GED. While that's not a difficult thing to achieve it's still not something you can do willy nilly. It costs money and is like an 8 hour test. That means he had to study. Money was a precious resource to the Winchester's, especially in the early years. They needed money for food, shelter, gas and other supplies and it wasn't always easy to come by. I can guarantee Dean wouldn't have wasted money on getting his GED if he wasn't confident he pass it.

Sam's smart. Sure. That's what he's known for. But who do you think helped him get that way? John definitely wasn't sitting at various kitchenette tables and helping Sam with his homework. John most likely wasn't the one teaching Sam how to read and write. How to do simple math. John was too busy going on his crusade for vengeance to worry about his children's education. It's evident that John didn't veiw higher education as a necessity for his boys and actually blew up at Sam for trying to pursue one. So yeah, Sam is smart and he deserves credit for making his own education a priority, but it was most likely Dean who gave him the stepping stones to do so, and if you think Dean didn't retain any of that knowledge when he was helping Sam, sorry but you're wrong.

What he lacks in a school education he makes up for it with hunting knowledge and lore. He knows A LOT off the top of his head about monsters and lore. He became a better hunter than John could ever hope to be because he was well studied in it.

His endless encyclopedia of what I like to call HF³ ( Hyper-fixation fun facts)

Dean is a giant nerd. He may not know a lot of, what most would consider, "important" facts, but when it comes to things that interest him, the man is a fountain of knowledge.

Cowboys. He knows them by face and name. He knows their history, backstory, what kind of weapons they used and how they died. Name a famous cowboy, Dean knows.

Cars. Dean knows makes, models, years, how to take them apart and how to put them back together.

Guns. Same as cars

Scooby-Doo and other TV shows. He knows characters, episodes by first glance and can give you the plotlines and BTS information.

Movies. How the man found time to watch all the movies he quote/mentions in the show's run, I'll never know, but he has watched everything from action, to horror, to Disney and can give you the same info he can for TV shows he likes.

Music. Dean LOVES music. He has extensive knowledge of classic rock. He knows band members by name, albums by year, background information about the albums and artists and knows every Zeppelin song by heart.

The most important fact about his nerd knowledge? He didn't grow up in the age of information. He didn't grow up in a time when he could just google questions he wanted the answer to. That means he had to read magazines, articles, books, watch documentaries listen/ watch interviews.....He had to research everything he knew the good old fashioned way. That takes effort, dedication, and intelligence.

Stupid people can't lie and Dean is a damn good Liar.

Okay, stupid people can lie, but they can't lie well. Lies, especially long/big ones take a lot of brain power. Because lying requires manipulation.

You have to be able to know people and how their minds work in order to get them to believe you. That requires a basic knowledge of human psychology.

Big lies require creativity. You have to be able to create a back story, counter arguments, what if scenarios and explanations for inconsistencies if you are to be believed.

Long lies rquire an extensive memory. You have to be able to remember which lies you told to who, everything about that lie and be able to spinnkle in facets of the truth to keep it believable.

While being a good liar isn't his most attractive/positive character trait Dean possess, it's not something that a stupid person could accomplish as well as he can.

Dean is incredibly witty.

He's goofy and funny at times, which is often written off as being dopey, but it's not.

He is known for his quick one liners. Not so much the "Get hit by a bus" "...You're a...bus" type ones but more so the "Is anything about you real" "My boobs" type ones.

His form of comedy comes from a place of knowledge. Is he goofy and immature at times? Yes. But that doesn't make him stupid.

TL/DR:

Just because he was goofy and didn't have the education Sam did, doesn't mean he was stupid. He was incredibly intelligent and I wish he would've known that before he died.

[lemmeaskthedevil]

Okay Eli is a terrible father. Yes his children are grown but he acts as though they rely on him because he helped them before and now they don't know how to stand on their own two feet. He's spoiled them, sure, so they don't know how life is when you're a "poverty person" (as Judy puts it) but

Kelvin fighting internalism homophobia and even physically fighting his dad because he doesn't feel like he's enough of a man.

He's trying to find his footing while working with kids which is a little bit easier for him (youth ministry is tough irl but he has them do fun activities they think he's cool... He's not teaching them the right stuff but it's on par with Christianity).

But he also feels underappreciated and not taken seriously just like all his siblings because the dad never reassures them or shouts them out or takes the time to pay attention to their interests... He let the mom do that.

Jesse is.... A terrible father who abused his kids just like the dad did. Gideon ran away and tried to scam him and yes they improved their relationship but his relationship with his second son is ???? (Comical yes but still as fucked as Gideon.)

He's following in his dad's footsteps and he has his own vested interest in that but again, identity issues that Eli just glosses over. Jesse often acts childish but he did try to solve his problems on his own and he does try to be a leader but Eli is a shit example and Jesse is copying him.

Judy has had boundary issues forever and they just acted like she was being too vulgar instead of educating her about it, and they just didn't pay attention to her actual needs. Yes she's being spoiled at the birthday party when she's getting a shitton of gifts and only Uncle Baby Billy's gift catches her eye but there's also a reason.

Eli doesn't know her and there's a scene where the mom clearly thinks she's a lot too. And like she is but she's your kid and that's on you and it's mainly because they didn't care for her outside of scolding her and then buying her off.

BJ is a great partner for her for a variety of reasons and has a better balance than the other sibs and their love interests (don't get me wrong I love Keefe and Kelvin but Keefe is following Kelvin's lead when it comes to purity culture etc and Jesse and Amber are crazy but they work in their own way I just don't think there's anything they wouldn't find with anyone else). He knows her and pays attention to her and still calls her out when she's on her bullshit which a partner will do but he does a lot of heavy lifting!

Eli is also asking "why don't you and your siblings get along" and he literally ignored his sister for years and was an ass to Baby Billy most of the time. And the mom isn't all that great either, I love her dearly but she was there the majority of the time.

She's good with Kelvin, enough that he talked to her and still goes to her for advice, but things fall through the cracks in older generations and older models of Christianity.

She's scamming with Eli the whole time and then gets mad at Baby Billy for wanting to just ??? Not be poor??? Like they could afford to stipend him or something and they just let him flounder. She even confronts him about leaving his family and then it's like momentarily helping him. I would be fed up with them too! No wonder the siblings don't know how to be kind to each other until they're 30+.

When we see her with Jesse she is able to get the truth out of him when hes exhibiting behavior thats concerning but like only him. And so you see that sometimes when he's older, reluctantly admitting his true feelings. So he's able to kinda do that with his siblings but that's about it??

We don't see her and Judy a lot just yet and Kelvin but considering Judy's lack of decorum and Kelvin just taking after her, I think Kelvin watched her at work and mimicked her and Judy wasn't watched at all.

She seems to be an average mom but honestly the kids would've been better if she raised them alone.

I wanna talk about the parenting in the righteous gemstones like where are my meta writers

[dourpeep]

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

[ms-hells-bells]

opinions on jordan peterson? i've heard that he's misogynistic but what exactly has he done/said?

he is a major patriarchal figure. he believes men have their role, women have theirs, and both women and men aren't living up to them, but men have it the hardest because women just 'aren't behaving', we're daring to get jobs and higher education instead of being mothers, and we're outclassing men in intelligence and pay, which is what their role is supposed to be!. he also at one point suggested endorsing "enforced monogamy" (as in, the government distribution of women to men) because "only a small amount of the best looking men get women, while many men are left alone". for someone obsessed with evo psyche and the natural fallacy, he sure doesn't seem to understand how mate selection works in the animal kingdom lol. he also pushes religion, which taints his works, particularly his psychological and ethical ones.

the sad thing is, he actually wrote some pretty interesting books and articles in regards to differing psychologies, like that in wartime, from alcoholism, etc. he was actually well respected and heavily cited years before he went off the rails. and he still has talent. in 2015, he and another person created a writing therapy program for university students to help improve grades, and studies have shown it to not only drastically reduce failure/drop out rate, but it also significantly shortened the performance gap between men and women, and different ethnic groups. THAT sort of research i can get behind, that's a good kind of men's rights work, helping men to perform better at school (without manipulating grades). and he also wrote a couple of self help books for men that weren't even that misogynistic, they just told men to get their life together, do their laundry properly, keep their house clean, maintain good hygiene, etc. basic shit, but because it was coming from a man they worshipped him. which i didn't have an issue with, as long as men were self improving while leaving women alone, then good. but then he reached into anti feminism, and that was the topic that got him the most fans and sales due to how many awful men there are, it's what he stuck with, it fed his ego.

he became a figurehead for men's rights activists, conservatives, and white supremacists, and for the short time he had a youtube channel, it was a strong part of the young white male internet use to white/male supremacist pipeline (via followed channels, features, and youtube's algorithm recommending certain videos and channels after interacting with JP's channel/videos).

tldr; he should have stayed in his own lane of general psychology. he could have even still been pro free speech, anti identity politics and anti bill c-16 (which i and other radfems are also all against). but at this point, with the path he's taken, he's now done more damage than good to young males. he also sees marxism and postmodernism as interchangable evils, which is insane because marxism and postmodernism are polar opposites, but he uses buzzwords to capture the fears of his followers, in the same way that conservatives scream "communism!".

he also went on the "carnivore diet" (stopped eating vegetables and most carbs) because he believes it's a cure-all, which is funny. idk if he's still on it. the toilet bowl and his hemorrhoids must fear him.

[acemapleeh]

2, 4, 9, 11, 12 for HWS Canada? Your fics are so underratted!

Thank you, that’s sweet of you <3

Link to the ask game here

2. What is their favorite piece of technology?

Honestly, when you live for so many centuries, what do you pick? Space heaters are definitely on the top of the list, instant coffee and electric kettles for an easy, hot drink in the morning, solar panels to heat up isolated ice fishing shacks. It’s all the little things that have added up that’s made life so much easier and warmer. Telephones took a while to get used to, but having his family and friends so easily available is both a blessing and curse. He’s not afraid to shut off his phone and fuck off for a few weeks, but given the fact the people who understand his existence most are typically hundreds of miles away, this makes reaching out for reassurance for his loneliness easier.

4. Was there anything their parents pushed them to do? (e.g. sports, theatre, band)

Matthew had the absolute joy and privilege of having to be raised under Arthur's roof for the majority of the 19th century. He had already mastered his reading, writing, and arithmetic, so now what was left to teach was how to be a proper English gentleman of society. He didn't need to be a scholar and like hell was he going to be sent to Public School or university. Matthew's education focused heavily focused on sportsmanship, etiquette, leadership, and even confidence, so he would have all of the necessary skills to eventually be a legitimate member of society as well as a proper nation (someday). His governess taught him the waltz, conducting himself at dinner parties, poetry, art, music, languages (such as Latin and Greek), and various other subjects (astronomy, history, classical text, geography, etc.). He was expected to be well-rounded.

Arthur took charge of teaching him hands-on, practical skills. Matthew enjoyed learning to shoot long-range, how to sail on Ullswater Lake, and even military strategy was a useful skill. He could care less about playing the violin or the harpsichord, he still doesn't understand how cricket works, and though he isn't terrible on horseback, the English sidestep and other equine traditions boggle his mind. Also, he will appreciate the works of Shakespeare, but please, he's retched on stage.

9. What chronic illnesses does your muse have if any?

Chronic depression, anxiety, vitamin D deficiency, and hockey ankles.

On a serious note, I think I'll answer the other part of this in the next question as they go hand in hand.

11. Does your muse wear glasses/contacts?

He must absolutely wear glasses. I, like many, say that this all started in World War 1 with the Second Battle of Ypres where the Germans first utilized poison gas. Matthew would wake several days later after his death at this battle, screaming in confusion and absolute agony. His wails only stop when his throat no longer lets him, coughing and spitting blood as his chest feels as though it's on fire. He pauses when a hand holds his and he could hear cries that were not his own. Matthew's death was not a kind one. His eyes were bandaged and sewn shut in order to heal properly. For days the world was darkness, he lay only in content because of the constant morphine being put in his veins. He feels guilty as he's told his sight will soon return, that he was healing well. Too many of his men, some not even old enough to even lie about being a man, were dead.

He could hardly recognize his reflection when he finally has the chance. His eyes aren't focusing, he scolds himself. There were still bandages, his skin blistered and burned from his face to his hands. Deep breaths hurt, sitting up hurts but it won't be until autumn evenings will the true damage his lungs received will come to light. He pants while continuing to march forward, clouds of cold breath painful, he places a hand against a tree, winded.

Things get better with time but his sight is never what it used to be, glasses a must whenever he leaves the house. His lungs are irritated in the cold. He hates that those deep breaths of frigid air that should bring him nothing but comfort now trigger coughing fits and moments of weakness.

12. What are some warning signs that your muse is getting depressed?

It's something that's definitely easier to notice in modern times. Having a case of the morbs back in the day was him wallowing in the halls and staying in bed past ten in the morning like a dysfunctional member of society. He would lounge in the fake graveyard his father staged, reading morbid books and poems while hoping the ground would swallow him whole. He was very quiet about his depressive episodes for a very long time. It was normal, everyone surely had to have felt the same way he did from time to time. Desperately needing a laudanum and opium nap every other day was normal, right? He had yet to realize just how deep his exhaustion was running from upkeeping appearances. 

These days it all starts showing by how long it's been since he's looked at his messages. He won’t leave anyone on read, just scrolls to see the notification to make sure it’s nothing urgent, then promptly ignores it. A few days is usually okay, he might have the honest reason of work piling up or he was camping somewhere with no reception. Weeks to a month go by without one call or message to Alfred, there’s a problem. Matthew’s way of coping is self-isolation. His family doesn’t respect him, his friends hate him, everyone only pretends to mildly tolerate him- oh! Alfred texted him to go out for coffee... maybe it’d be best if got out of the house. 

If it’s not isolation, it’s his sleeping habits. Are you sleeping too much or too little? Yes. He goes back and forth of sleeping for twelve hours or more a day to staring at his ceiling thinking it’d be easier to have a quick death. He’s lethargic, you have a conversation with him and he spaces out. A quick apology that he’s just tired and has a headache. He takes another painkiller because his shoulders and back were killing him on top of it.

Really, just check up on him once in a while because depression comes from nowhere and sticks like a tough stain. Pick him up, brush him off, and let him know you remember him and don’t hate him, then put him to bed and throw a forty pound blanket on him for good measure.

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

•pairings: enemy, barista and student!jaemin x student and barista!reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

<next>

•warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, crying kink, hair pulling, choking, small praising, small size kink, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification (sexual and non sexual use) nanas kinda mean :( but gets a lil nicer :), jaemin refers to himself as nana a lot mostly when they do the dirty, bulging kink, pet names (princess, baby, baby girl, little girl, pretty girl), unprotected sex (please be safe), slight face slapping (he slaps her once), rough sex clearly, some sexual tension, I hope i got everything

You were fuming!

The boy in front of you not even batting an eyelash, just laughing at the mess dripping down your face.

You smelt like an iced americano.

People around you held their hands to their mouths in shock and others tried to hold back their laughter. Some even pointed at you or gave sympathetic looks.

It wasnt like people were surprised anymore. Jaemin always had something up his sleeve for you. But he never went as far as pouring his coffee on you.

"Aw poor baby. Do you need a napkin?" He faked sympathy with a pout and his friends began laughing. You just got up and walk by them, making sure to bump into jaemins shoulder on your way through.

It was almost everyday that Jaemin would do something so uncalled for. It was like he was made to push your buttons. Even as you're walking out of the college building, you can still hear the boy laughing at you. Or maybe it was the other students. Either way, you wanted to kill him.

As you trudged towards your car, a sense of relief washed over you. A great happiness that only comes when you finished your classes and could go home. Only this happiness stayed for a good 2 hours until you have to go to your part time job at the cafe with your favorite person of course. But its not like you can quit. You need the money so you can live and get the education you need, no matter how hard it is being with him.

It was then when you sat in your car and the squishing in the seat made your face curl into a scowl, only made you think of ways to get away with murder. It was gross really. The seats were sticky, plus your hair and clothes were sticking to you like lip gloss. A shower would be perfect right about now.

"Hi y- oh..." Your roommate, jimin, stared at your messy state. Giving you a good up and down before shrugging his shoulders, "jaemin?"

You sighed, walking over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, "Who else? Its always him."

Jimin gave you a small smile and came closer as if ready to hug you but didn't because he didn't want to get sticky. "You know, maybe you should quit that job."

"No."

He groaned and snatched the water that you were about to sip, "Why? You'd only see jaemin in school. And you wouldnt have to stick with his bickering in work." He huffed, shaking his head, "Girls are so difficult sometimes."

You tried leaping up to grab the bottle from jimin, but all he did was hold it above his head. You stomped on his foot in return. Jimin huddled over and you snatched the bottle, smirking with victory as you put it to your lips.

"You fucking snake." Jimin hissed in pain.

A laugh fell from your lips as you walked by him, completely ignoring his words and his pain, "Im gonna take a shower."

Once you got to your room, the first thing you did was grab your work clothes, a towel, and underwear and got ready for the warm shower.

After you switched on the water and let it heat up, you stepped in and immediately felt at peace as the water cascaded over your body, cleaning off the almost dried coffee. Your hair felt lighter, like a feather and your fingers could now slip through the strands easily without an issue. The scent of your body wash overpowered the coffee smell and you felt much better. Water, soap, and coffee were beginning to fill the drain as you finished washing up. You rolled your eyes at the sight of the murky water. What a bastard.

For once you were actually happy to wear your work clothes after what had happened earlier. The clothes actually felt comfortable and jimin was becoming more and more confused as to why you were hugging yourself with a huge smile on the couch.

"No one should be that happy after a shower." He started flipping through channels on the t.v.

"Dont tell me how to feel, I dont smell like jaemins coffee anymore." You gushed overdramtically. Jimin could only role his eyes.

"Please...you act like he's a demon of some sort."

You squinted your eyes at jimin and flared your nostrils, "he is. Hes a nasty, dumb, annoying, self centered-"

"Okay okay I get it! You hate jaemin! The funny thing is you can never get his name out of your mouth." Everything stopped and your head snapped in jimins directions.

"What are you saying?" A frown found itself on your face, jimin leaned closer.

"Im saying that maybe you might like him."

You shrieked in disgust, blocking your ears with your hands. Jimin laughed at your reaction. Almost falling off the couch in the process. "Ew! Gross! Why would you even think that!"

"Like I said, you can never get his name out of your mouth. I think its pretty obvious you like him." He was still giggling at you except your face was anything but happy, more grossed out at how he thought you could like such a person

"I can't stand you. I'm leaving for work." You stood up and jimin did nothing to stop you from going. Even though you still had about 15 minutes until you normally leave. "Ill be back at 9." The door slammed behind you, leaving jimin alone with another laughing fit.

You got in the car and drove off to your work, still trying to come up with a reason as to why jimin is saying all this. Sure maybe you talk about jaemin a little lot but that doesn't mean you like him. Its very much the opposite and jimin should know that. It only frustrates you the more you think about it. Liking someone like jaemin? Please. That would be your nightmare.

As you pulled up to the cafe, there were only a few other cars parked. Few were from other workers but the majority were most like customers or people just trying to get a free parking space. Lucky for you, there were many open spaces, unlike when you come later and they're filled. Maybe leaving earlier wasnt such a bad idea. It saved you the 3 minute walk.

"Y/n! You're just on time!" One of your coworkers, irene, called out as you stepped inside the shop. "We need help back here!" You had no time to even begin to say your shift hasn't started yet when irene took you by the hand and dragged you to where the coffee was being made. "We have a bunch of online orders coming in so can you please help us with the coffee and food?" She tossed you a brown apron for you to put on and you nodded, trying to get your brain to speed up with everything in the world.

It was so quiet when you walked in that you never even realized that the back was busy. Coffee cups were filled and put into trays for orders, food was being heated or baked. It was a chaotic place right now and all you could do was help. So as fast as you could, you began with the first order on the screen. A large mocha with extra extra sugar, whipped cream, and chocolate curls. Easy enough you thought as you reached for a cup but a hand beat you to it.

Your eyes looked up at the person in front of you and just when you thought everything was going fine, it wasn't, "What are you doing here so early?" You asked bitterly.

"I always come in early. What are you doing here so early?" Jaemin asked whilst holding a death grip on the cup.

"Just felt like coming early." You muttered, watching as jaemin turned away with a scoff, quickly cutting the conversation short. "Bastard."

Jaemin was busy making what you were originally going to do, so you looked for another order to get ready. It was just two cake pops and a small strawberry banana smoothie. Something you've been craving recently from the lack of sweetness and fruit in your day to day life.

The cake pops and smoothie were quick to make and were soon sent off to the customer. You happily beamed and wished them good day once they left.

After then there was a familiar face with a friend right next to him, he was quite handsome you must say. He was indeed so handsome that he just looked unreal. "Hey jimin. Whose this?" You nodded towards the bright black haired man.

"This is taemin! He wanted some coffee so I brought him- hey stop staring at him!" Jimin snapped you out of your trance and taemin chuckled.

"Its okay shes cute." He eye smiled, showing off his perfectly white teeth. He's definitely not real.

Jimin tsk'd, "Until you get to know her."

"Yeah yeah... whatever." You smiled at him, completely oblivious to what he just said.

They both ordered and took a seat next to the window. You were still staring at taemin with your head in your hand until someone tapped your shoulder, "Who are they?" Jaemins voice rang in your ears, making you stand up straight.

"Thats my roommate, jimin, and his friend taemin." You glanced back at the boys, mainly at taemin and just stared like he was your first crush.

"Quit staring your gonna scare him away." Jaemin said earning himself a chuckle from you.

You stuck your tongue out, "He called me cute."

The boy smirked from ear to ear and leaned in close to your face, "He was lying." You grumbled and pushed him away from you, getting annoyed by his presence very quickly.

"Jaemin and y/n, get back to work we have orders to do!" Irene called out. Both of you quickly returning to your stations and getting things ready.

"Look at him. Hes basically waiting for me to come over to him." Seulgi, another person in this school you dispise, said as she looked at jaemin in the back of the room. She wasn't very quiet either considering you were only a few seats away from him. So it only meant that jaemin could hear her, but chose to ignore it. Typical boy.

"Honestly. He looks so good today too." Sana, her best friend, commented.

"Oh and did you hear what he was planning on doing today to y/n? Apparently he's gonna-"

"Class get back in your seats, we have much to discuss." The professor stood in the front of the class. Everyone shifted and moved to their appropriate places and waited for the teacher to begin. Unlike you, who was wondering what seulgi was going to say next. If its something worse than coffee being poured on your head, you may just have to bury yourself six feet under after this.

As you were taking notes something flung towards your head and hit you on the side, looking over was jaemin with a smirk was he held his fingers in a sling shot shape. A rubber band was laying on your lap. Then another one. One even hit your cheek creating a small smack sound as you winced in pain. Oh you desperately wanted to get out of this seat and punch the boy in the face.

"Excuse me sir!" You called out, raising your head. The whole class looked at you and your cheeks began to heat up. "May i go to the restroom?" The professor nodded and you headed out. Not until you stopped in your tracks from a loud smack to your butt, causing the whole class to turn around again.

Jaemin was enjoying this, the way you stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth, made him just want to do it again. He never thought this reaction from you would be so entertaining and he tried his best not show it, with only a small smirk covering his face.

You rushed out of the room, faster than ever and leaned against the nearest surface you could find. Not only were you questioning reality, but also why jaemin just did that.

"That little bitch." You said to yourself as you paced back and forth in the hallway, staring at the ground.

"Excuse me?" Jaemin voice rang in your ears as you looked up with a angry red face. Steam was even coming out of your ears and nose. "Did you just call nana a bitch?" He put his hands to his chest and pouted, "Little girl you need to learn some manners." Jaemin tilted his head to the side and began walking forward.

"Shut up." You had nothing else to say as you grit your teeth, looking at the ground.

Jaemin didnt like that and grabbed the back of your neck to make you look at him, "What? Did your stupid head stop thinking? Your normally so chatty for nana what happened?"

"Jaemin i-" you cut yourself off as you felt jaemin grip the back of your neck tighter causing you to moan in pain.

"Stupid girl." Jaemin whispered, forcefully pushing you away. It was not strong enough to make you fall but at least stumble.

You glowered, earning yourself a chuckle from him. "What will it take for you to leave me alone!?"

"Bring this to table 15 please! Thanks!" Irene smiled as she handed you a small cup of iced coffee and you took it, taking it to its designated place. What you didn't except was to see taemin again, gleaming up at you.

"Hi y/n." He smiled and you tried to remain calm.

God how is someone so beautiful?

"Hey, I didnt except you to come back." You returned the warm smile and started to play with the apron around your waist.

Taemin giggled, "I actually quite like this place, its cozy." He began to take a sip from the straw, eyes still trained on you. If only you weren't so awkward with him, you wouldve found something to say other than staring at him and indulging in the beauty before you. But lucky for you someone behind the counter called for you, quickly averting your attention back to work.

The next order was a shake, so you grabbed the correct ingredients and began using the blendor, when someone came next to you, doing the same thing "You seem like your having fun flirting around." The unwanted conversation with jaemin began, "makes nana kind of jealous."

"Hm funny." You ignored him and continued blending the ice cream.

Jaemin casually rolled his eyes and glanced down at your nonchalant face before returning back to the blender, "you know you really do piss me off."

You sneered and snickered to yourself, "what are you gonna do about it?"

"I was thinking of fucking you dumb or until you know your place but maybe thats a bit too rewarding."

The cup was removed and set aside from the blender with your hands placed on your hips, "Im sorry what?"

"Did I stutter?" Jaemin raised an eyebrow and also put the cup down. You went silent, not knowing whether or not to just laugh it off or quickly run away. "And I'm still waiting on my apology."

"One, I am not going to apologize to your bitchy ass. Two, even if I did let you, you could never 'fuck me dumb', it just wouldn't happen. Now stop trying to get in my pants."

Jaemin opened then closed his mouth about to say something, but didn't and just put on a sweet smile, "Go take these to table 7 for nana." He said like he was testing yoj.

"Why? You made them."

"Nana told you to do something little girl, now do it." Jaemins sweet smile was still plastered on his face yet it intimidated you enough to do as he said.

Taemin was long gone when you walked out and you were kind of sad as you weren't able to say goodbye before he left. You placed the shake down on the table and was ready to walk away when you heard your name being called.

"Y/n? You work here?" Seulgis voice spoke as you turned around. Both her and sana were looking at you with shit eating grins.

"Doesn't jaemin also work here seulgi?" Sana asked the girl in front of her and seulgi looked as if she got the brightest idea.

"Oh yeah! Y/n can you get jaemin over here? Pretty please?" She asked sweetly yet with a hint of sourness and you listened, not feeling like ignoring her at the moment.

You told jaemin that seulgi and sana were out front looking for him and he nonchalantly went out without question. Leaving you to do some of the work alone, which you didn't mind considering its jaemin, the annoying bastard who won't leave you alone, but he does help you whenever you need it. And right now, it was a bit busy, and you needed it.

After doing 4 more online orders and sending them off through the driveway, jaemin finally came back with a scowl on his face looking ready to beat someone up. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He raised his voice only loud enough for you to hear. But you were quite confused on what was happening.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, tilting your head to the side like a puppy.

Jaemin groaned, "I knew you were fucking dumb but come on y/n! Why is seulgi covered in the shake i gave you?"

You paused for a moment, unable to answer that. Is he assuming you spilt her shake on her? Why would you even do that in the first place. Yeah you don't like her, but you're not going to stoop to her or his level. "I dont know."

He slammed his hand on the wall near your head, startling you a bit, "You dont know huh?" You shook your head slowly. "Seulgi and sana both said you purposefully spilt the shake on seulgi. Now answer me honestly. Is that true?" You shook your head again, feeling really small and helpless under his strong gaze.

"I-i didnt spill t-the skake." You muttered quietly.

He inhaled sharply, "Then who did huh? Or maybe you don't know because you're so dumb."

"S-stop..." you frowned, looking down at floor, but jaemin had other plans and made you look up at him. A single tear slide down your cheek and you swear you saw a small grin appear on his face.

"Tell nana what happened." His voice became softer as he swiped away the stray tear on your face.

You huffed, still afraid that he'd do something to you although you knew he wouldnt purposely cause you pain. "W-well she asked me to go get you, which I did, a-and her shake was perfectly fine when I left."

"Are you saying she purposely spilt the shake on herself to make me angry at you?"

"Y-yes."

"Ill believe my little girl for now, but if I find out you are lying, you will be in big trouble got that?" Jaemin lifted his hand off the wall and proceeded to walk back out of the room. Leaving you shocked at his words and still frightened by an angry jaemin.

You went to the cash register once jaemin left to get ready to count the bills until you heard jaemin and seulgi arguing. Lucky for them, no one but you and him were working right now. Irene went home earlier and the normal crew always leave around 6:30, leaving just you and jaemin.

"It was only a prank nana. No need to get so worked up. And besides you didn't even prank her today, be glad I did for you." Seulgi said smiling at the boy in front of her.

Jaemin physically cringed when he heard his nickname roll off her tongue, "you didn't have to do that."

You stood there watching, astonished how jaemin was standing up for you. Hes supposed to hate you. Jaemin didn't even bother going with the girls when they offered him a ride, instead he stayed with you and even helped close. Something he normally doesn't do because he leaves before you and gives you all the hard things to do.

"Hurry up and finish." Jaemin spoke. A little bit of anger still laced in his voice.

"Whats your rush?"

He sighed, "I wanna go home. Plus I can't stand this place right now. I'm pissed."

You finished wiping down that last table and walked over to him, "Just go home then."

"Not without you."

You gave him a dirty look, "im not going home with you."

Jaemin leaned down, his face only inches from yours and whispered, "Remember what I said earlier hm? I wanna fuck you dumb." He then grabbed your waist bringing you closer to him, if that was possible, "Can I do that pretty girl? Can nana fuck you so hard you won't even remember anything but my cock?" You were so lost in your mind that everything became a blur. Jaemins words sounded so sweet but were so lewd. And you were so close to kissing him until he put his finger on your lips, "But you have to wait." You frowned and were only getting more angry by the second. You went from not wanting anything to do with jaemin to just about ready to beg him to kiss you. Was it that easy for him to get in your head? Or were you so sex deprived that now jaemin seemed somewhat interesting?

You laid on jaemins bed getting bored with the constant teasing. He never did anything but that. Jaemin would get close to your lips and back away as you chased him. Hed chuckle and coo at you for being so desperate. But that wasn't the point of all the teasing. He really just wanted you to beg him to kiss you. No words will come out of his mouth telling you to beg, he just excepted it to happen sooner or later. But youre too stubborn to do so, so you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him, catching him by surprise.

Jaemins hands gripped your wrists and pulled them off his face, pinning them to the bed, "You didnt even ask to kiss me." Jaemin pulled away, raising his eyebrow high, "Dont you think thats a bit mean."

"So was teasing me, but I let you continue." You huffed, trying to free your wrists from his death grip but it was no use.

"You dont have a say on whether i continue or not. I'm in charge here and you take what I give you, understand?" You rolled your eyes. It was your intention to make jaemin angry. You wanted to push his buttons.

What you didnt know was that not answering jaemin correctly would earn you a slap to the face. And jaemin was not even fazed by it.

"Dont roll your eyes and answer nana." Jaemin smiled. "Can you say 'yes nana'?"

"Y-yes nana."

"Good girl." Jaemin muttered and began slowly kissing your jawline down to your neck, sucking here and there creating shades of purple and red marks. Oh how he loved the marks he was leaving.

You so desperately wanted to grip onto jaemins hair and pull it but he never budged his hands, only tightening his grasps. As he continued attacking your neck, you began to lift your hips up to get some sort friction. Jaemin noticed and shifted so that his thigh was in between your legs and rubbing against your clothed core. A spew of quiet moans left your lips but you wanted more. Jaemin was going to soft and slow for your liking.

"I thought you were going to fuck me dumb?" You said and jaemin lifted his head to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

"Patience baby. You aren't ready yet." He let go of your wrists and took your shirt off. The cold air made you shiver and jaemin chuckled. "I wanna make you cum at least 2 times before I fuck you."

"Then stop talking and do it." You replied, pushing your hips up to rub against his thigh, but they were pushed back down on the bed.

"Didnt I say to take what I give you?" Your head slowly moved up and down and jaemin smiled, "so why arent you happy with what nana gives you?"

"I want more..." you sighed as he started to slide your pants and panties off, discarding them somewhere in the room. His mouth slowly started kissing your inner thighs and you could feel your heat dripping with anticipation. You whined for more but only got a slap to the thigh telling you to be quiet. Needless to say you didn't listen and continued to try to get him closer to where you needed him most but pulling his hair.

Jaemin groaned grabbing your wrist again and pushed it away roughly. His patience was wearing out. You were more stubborn than he thought, but that doesn't mean he can't still break you. "Next time you do that, I'll flip you over and beat your ass till its purple." Your breath hitched and as much as you were tempted, you wanted to be able to sit for a few days so you stayed put and kept your hands to yourself.

But the desperation was getting to you and you wanted relief which jaemin wasnt giving you until you felt his two fingers circling around your clit. "P-please jaemin." You moaned as he flicked your clit with his middle finger. Then soon enough he stuck two fingers inside you. Your pussy automatically clenching around his digits as he moved at a steady in and out pace.

It felt so good. His fingers felt so good. They made your body twist in pleasure as more moans left your mouth. Jaemin was watching your face closely as it contorted with pleasure. He loved seeing your eyebrows bunched together, so focused on the way his fingers worked inside you.

"My pretty slut. Taking nanas fingers so well." He gushed, still watching your face. Jaemin could feel himself get even more painfully hard but he didn't want to fuck you just yet. He meant it when he said he wanted you to cum 2 times. So he picked up the speed with his fingers, your hands landing on his forearm that was resting on near your hip. "Are you gonna cum for nana princess?"

You frantically nodded your head as a wave of pleasure washed over you. You could feel your cum leak out of you as jaemin leaned down and began eating away at your cunt.

"J-jaemin! So...go-good!" Your head flew back as his tongue sucked on your clit and a loud moan filled the room.

Jaemin smirked against your heat, "I haven't even fucked you yet and your already sounding like a dumb whore. Its so easy to break you princess."

"N-no its j-ju-...." you whimpered as your brain wasnt even trying to help you function right. His tongue was extraordinary. "Mmmm."

"Aw my dumb little princess is so cute." He muttered diving back into lapping at your soaked cunt. It was almost as if on cue and without warning, you were cumming again. Jaemins hasty tongue took it all. Groaning at the taste of you in his mouth.

He sat up over you, grabbing your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. You tasted yourself on his tongue. Deepening the kiss by grabbing the back of his hair, jaemin couldnt help but moan a bit as his cock brushed against your thigh. He felt big. Bigger than the few guys you've been with and you were ecstatic.

You tugged on jaemins pants and shirt as a way to tell him to take them off and he did after getting off of you and sitting on the edge of the bed. His abs were more defined than you thought and when his cock sprung free, your mouth started watering. Jaemins smirk only grew watching you stare. He was starting to get cocky

"What? You wanna suck my cock?" Jaemin asked sweetly.

"Yes please." You reached over to try and touch him but he didn't allow you. And smacked your hand away. It was a way for him to tease you and you hated it.

"So kind for nana now. Ealier you were so cock hungry that you decided to be a brat. Did nana finally break you?" Jaemin whispered as he moved a piece of hair out of your face, looking at you with fill admiration.

"No you didn't break me. But I wanna suck you off." You whined as jaemin picked you up and sat you just above his cock, the tip teasing at your entrance.

"Too bad. Now I want you to sit." Jaemin said looking into your eyes. You obeyed with a little hesitation. His cock was surely going to hurt you so you took it slowly and started lowering your hips. "Fuck...thats a good girl." Jaemin praised, watching his cock dissappear between your legs and your tummy get full with his cock. "My baby's so tiny you can see my cock in your belly." He said, pushing down on the area where he was imprinted in you.

Slowly you started moving, lifting your hips up and down. You were wet enough that he could easily slide in and out with no problem.

Jaemins head fell back as he sighed with relief, grunting as you picked up the pace, "So tight for nana." He whispered and you moaned back loudly. His cock stretched every inch of you to the point where it felt like you'd split.

"More more more." You whined against jaemins neck, gripping his shoulders tightly. Carefully jaemin flipped you both over so he was on top and continued pounding into your destroyed cunt. He kept a hand around your neck squeezing it every so often as a choked out moan left your throat.

His cock was so deep and fast that you couldn't think straight. You kept blabbering about his cock. Only thing on your mind was how nice he felt inside you. Jaemin bit his lip as he smirked at you, grabbing your hair and bringing your face close to his, "Now will you admit that I fucked you dumb and say your nanas dumb slut?"

"Y-yes, I'm na-nanas dumb sl-slut." You cried, tears falling down your face from how good he felt inside and if you thought jaemin couldn't go any faster, he did. His thrusts were hard and rough, sure enough to hurt your thighs tomorrow as he pounded relentlessly. "So close." Your voice came out choked as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You held on to jaemins hand that was on your neck as he helped you with your orgasm.

Jaemin wasnt far behind you with his and groaned loudly, "fuck, where do you want it princess?"

"I-inside." You moaned as the feeling of hot cum was shot inside you. Jaemins hips kept moving him through his orgasm until he slowly came to a stop. Both of you panted loudly, there were even a few tears falling down your cheek here and there.

Jaemin slowly pulled out, making sure not to hurt you, and he laid beside you. "You did so well." He kissed your forehead. "Cmon ill carry you to bathroom so we can take a bath." He said picking up your worn out naked figure with so much care. Making you forget he was your enemy.